One liner

' henny.bas SmallBASIC 0.12.9 (B+=MGA) 2017-05-10
tload "jokes.txt",ja:for j=0 to ubound(ja):?ja(j):delay len(ja)*500:cls:next


jokes.txt
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don t need it.
What is faster Hot or cold? Hot because you can catch a cold.
Whats the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
I say no to alcohol, it just doesn t listen.
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
If
at first you don t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Created while joking around at The QB64 Edition looking for a good one-liner of code.

... If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is NOT for you...

... the only thing that succeeds is a parrot without a beak...

... Oh, this could go on for a long time... lol

I am ruined! I will never hear that word the same way again! ;-))

Good one! good two!

How's the coffee machine project succeeding?

So far for me, not a drop, except for your contribution. That did have a lovely dispenser valve.

Coffee machine project? I thought you were joking so I whipped up the Pseudo-code.... That led me onto the 'tapper' reference.... You're not joking are you? Even after three coffees I can hardly hold a thought in the head... Bouts of inspiration do not happen as often as they used to... *sigh*

Were you thinking of an actual coffee machine simulation or something along the lines of an arcade game? I'm so confused...

J

I did post my Wanted Poster here didn't I?

I posted it (or thought I had) at all my favorite forums. SmallBASIC would have been first, unless the idea formulated while at another forum.

I don't know if we need to make a project out of it, I just wanted something to go with my doughnut code.

BTW, I just learned from a spellchecker at a forum I have been spelling singular doughnut as donut and according to it (which I still am not sure I should believe) only the plural donuts drops the "ugh" in middle ha! like the hole ;-))

Anyway some of my best ideas come from being half joking and half serious take it one way or the other as an offering from me.

But you Johnno, I thought you would be inspired by the idea more than anyone? And you Johnno have more access or more a heart/mind to collect and/or create assets than I, ref: bowling! I love that project. I like and would like to do "projects" with you, this was an idea or a joke however you want to go with it.

My definition of project basically is more than one file.

About it being a game? hmm... not without my first cup of coffee I'd have to say. On the other hand, getting that first cup might be like a carrot at the end of a stick of motivation.

Confusion is the first step towards wisdom. The door has been opened for you to seek knowledge.

Append: Oh, it was I who called it a project (here)! Well with Johnno and his assets they usually are multi-filed affairs.

A perfect match with speak sub, perhaps someone has an image to go with this?
Windows OS needed here but Johnno might have something for Linux version.

' henny 2.bas SmallBASIC 0.12.9 (B+=MGA) 2017-05-16
' this creates a sound.vbs file and requires a jokes.txt file

randomize timer
tload "jokes.txt",ja
speak ja( rnd*ubound(ja)\1 + 1)

sub
speak(message$)
'modifed from "Code" at JB forum
open "sound.vbs" for output as #1
print #1, "Dim message, sapi"
print #1, "message=" + chr$(34) + message$ + chr$(34) + " "
print #1, "Set sapi=CreateObject(" + chr$(34) + "sapi.spvoice" + chr$(34) + ")"
print #1, "sapi.Speak message"
close #1
RUN "wscript sound.vbs"
end